22 June 2011

The Ungrateful World of Celebrity.

'Awh our lovely Cheryl 'avin a fag' - EW.

So the front pages of my newspapers this week have yet again been tarnished with the face of Cheryl Cole, you know whilst some poor injured soldier settles for a corner segment. Only this time, it's not Cheryl's outfits or love life that are of interest. Nope, poor old Cheryl is quitting the industry apparently. Pause for a moment for a hallelujah chorus. Yes, her stint in the business has taken its toll on our Cheryl, the nation's sweetheart (No, nobody is holding a gun to my head but it does pain me to say those words). Bless her Geordie cottons, it must be awfully strenuous to have spent so many years being paid to do a job most girls dream of, travelling all over the world and sitting on a panel judging people that have more talent than you. Yes Cheryl, I can see why that would be tiring... Nope, it hurts too much to even joke about it.

I cannot stand these celebrities that have the gall to moan about their lifestyle, complaining they are exhausted and need a break. Newsflash! You're job IS a break. It's a life long break. Regular, honest, hardworking people have to save for annual holidays in the sun whereas celebrity breaks come as a package deal with the job.

And I'm not being unreasonable. I completely understand that jet setting and schmoozing with the wealthy to get ahead, may have its downsides. It's not difficult for me to comprehend the strain this would take on a person's family life and relationships but at the end of the day, they CHOSE this profession, in fact in most cases, thanks to talent competitions, they BEGGED for it.

I won't name any names but recently I heard a news story on the radio about a one album indie band feeling the tension from their 'job' commitments and complaining to their management that they were overworked. This band, if I remember correctly as they came from an era of one-album-five-singles bands, had a few popular songs and were doing academy shows over the UK. They even had a TV programme dedicated to their tour and the roadies that won some competition to get the job.

A few years have passed since this period and I haven't heard anything of them, assuming that they have been concentrating on their next album and touring around with the old songs. Now, correct me if I am wrong, but is that not what being a musician is all about, making music and performing? The band's complaints raised concerns about the way musicians are treated by their management and how this could be better handled. And I agree, I don't think that musicians should be taken advantage of by those who sit in the office and rake in all the cash. But then again, I KNOW bands who work themselves to the bone and they are more than happy to do it because it comes with the territory. Furthermore, they do it off their own backs, the DIY approach to music, taking all their own bookings, drawing up their own flyers, bringing people in to listen.

It is just plain ungrateful. Being a celebrity, a musician, an actor is like winning the golden ticket of life. You are the envy of the world because you earn your living doing something you love and can do so with minimal effort. I would love to plonk this whiny bunch into real life job situations (There you go Channel 4, I just came up with your next show) and see how long they would survive. A thirteen hour shift in a busy hospital, a night shift of hard labour making the product that makes celeb hair look 'super glossy!', a day in the restaurant they lunch at with their associates, a week in a classroom chasing after kids that think they will fall into the easy celeb position one day, I could go on. This is real life, show us your worth celebrities, because I know that not one person on this planet thinks that you deserve your millions (Yes I'm looking at you Cheryl Cole. Try singing a song in tune for a change.)
So to finish...

Dear Celebrities,
If you want to quit, just quit! Regular human beings, if they feel badly done to in a job, find something else and unlike you, don't have the luxury of making a quick buck from a headline about it. Don't label your cries for attention with depression because you have no right to feel that way. Either quit and keep your Dolce clad selves away from my Cosmo cover or get back to work and smile like a kid who just won the lottery. Because you did.

Phew.

Love x